Category Archives: Podcast

Edumecation – I done learn good last year.

A network of complications

Will I ever learn to know things?

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I’ve learned so many bad habits and damaging patterns of thought in my life. Sometimes I think I’m so mart I can top a tar. Wohoo. One thing I’ve learned is that unlearning happens in small chunks; slowly. Here’s my list of things learned during 2013.

Now if I can just found the grammar books I lost it someplace.

Transcript

Edumecated.

I learnded good.

I do try to learn one new thing every day. It doesn’t always happen that way but now I have gathered up the more important lessons from last year 2013. Since this is a new year I’m going to use those lessons to learn other things or avoid mistakes.

I have learned that my dog is insane; He has a craving for V8 which is a vegetable juice and I can’t open a can without him pawing at me.

I have learned that audio terms are stupid. A limiter is used to get a loud mix. When you pull the threshhold down the volume goes up. And what the hell is an expander? I haven’t learned that yet. No wonder it’s taking me forever to learn.

I have learned that there are no good excuses not to finish what you started.

I have learned that there are many many many many bad excuses that are almost as valid.

I have learned that all gear are not created equal.

I have learned that nobody is perfect and

It’s hard to move back in with your parents.

I have learned that too much coffee gives me gut rot and not enough food gives me a headache.

I have learned that if I don’t do dishes for a few days they pile up.

And I’ve also learned how much I hate doing dishes.

I have learned that having a husband that cooks food every day is essential to my survival.

I have learned that guitar picks disappear in this studio. If you don’t believe me bring all of your picks here and watch them vanish.

I have learned that cables will not untangle themselves.

Another important thing I’ve learned is that I do my best work between three and seven in the morning.

I have learned that Golden retriever furr is bad for vacuum-cleaners. If you don’t believe me you can borrow mine. The dog, not the vacuum-cleaner.

I have learned that guitars sure as hell don’t tune themselves.

Canadian winters suck ass.

And spiders live in the corners of this studio. I’m so glad I can’t see them.

So, what did you learn last year?

Jenny K Brennan Jan 12 2014

surprise

Time… What a relentless bitch.

A network of complications

I have the time. Now what?

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There comes a day. Chances are it will be the day I forget to remember what I remembered to forget… to put my pants on in the morning. Yes, you can tell I’ve given this much thought can you not?

Transcript


Time.

Jenny K Brennan Jan 10 2014

Inspiration – Such a beautiful bastard. It has teeth.

A network of complications

Inspiration is such a beautiful bastard.

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It hides. If I could find the formula for luring that sucker out of it’s dark little hole in the back of my mind, I’d be rich.

Transcript


Inspiration.

Inspiration is a tricky beast and I’ll talk about that in a moment. First, if you’re listening, which you are; I’m glad you’re listening. Thank you for listening. I know for sure I have at least two listeners. I know my podcast has gone downhill for a long time and I haven’t been inspired. This is changing with this little series whether you enjoy it or not. But like I said; I do know I have two listeners and Dezz and Gene; I’m glad to have you with me today.

Inspiration. At the end of this episode I have a sample of something I’m working on. I’m actually inspired.

I wrote a song this fall and I’ve had major problems with it. Because it simply did not want to tell me what it wanted to be. It might be a strange way of putting it but that’s what it feels like. When I write a song I cannot hear in my head a final product. I know alot of songwriters and producers, they have that vision, that audible vision, of something, of a song, what they want, the mood and all that but I don’t. And that’s probably why I’ll never be big and famous and rich.

Oh well.

But anyways. Hounddogs; I’ve had problems with it because it didn’t want to cooperate and this morning I gave it another try. I thought, what the hell. I can’t give up on this because I like it. So I muted the acoustic guitar and there it was.

So that’s what I’ve been working on today and I overdid it as usual. Coffee and more coffee. I had a headache at two o’clock and besides breakfast: nothing. But you know.

And here’s a sample from what I’ve been working on today. Very much a work in progress.

From JennyK and Studio Chaotic. I’ll see ya.

Jenny K Brennan Dec 30 2013

Calm – stop chasing that tail and just sit a while.

A network of complications

Calm. Mental hide and seek.

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Finding the tools for something like inner peace and simple calm can be tricky. It may feel difficult. Sometimes, all but impossible. But once in a while…

Transcript

Calm.

Nothing makes you calm quite like an hour or so of real hard work, like actual physical labour.
“You can chip away the ice and snow infront of the front door.”, He says and I say, “Okay.”.

And that’s what I did. It was building up and building up so; Icepick and shovel and just at it. and now I feel great.

Calm. I guess the story of the moral, the moral of the story is I should do more of that stuff. I should do stuff, which I know. Naturally I should cause I do like it. I like being busy, I like moving my body, working it and so I did.

Calm is what I got out of it.

However, there’s only so much gratitude to go around as far as ice and snow goes. Truly.
The fields may not be good for walking today but we’ll give it a try. Last night the dog made a nosedive; he was running like normal – drumdidrumdidrum – across the crust and all of a sudden: Stop! Both front legs down under the crust into the soft snow under and he’s like: “What the hell?” It was funny.

But anyways, today, eh, we’ll see. I’m hoping for another long walk today.

Speaking of calm.

I am finding it easier and easier to reach that calm state now and then and I can create it myself now. I have the tools to do it. I’m training my mind to behave; to look at things differently. One of those tools is
Hypnosisdownloads.com where Mark Tyrrell and roger Elliott… have… great stuff. Self hypnosis. It works. It’s very calming.

Yoga. Is great; speaking of that physical. Walking is excellent. Exercise diminishes anxiety. And that’s the circle that’s so hard to break sometimes.

You’re anxious and you don’t want to do anything and you sit on the couch or go to sleep or do nothing. But all that needs to be done is to get moving, doing something. Moving, walking, exercising. Just do it. And that’s a fucking hard thing to do; to just do it.

But I’m saying: It works. And I’m getting there. I’m breaking that circle. I still have my anxieties and the thing is that problems like that, they never go away. You don’t get rid of it. You learn to deal with it. You learn to live with it. And once in a while. It feels really good. You just have to remember that… that once in a while it feels really good and you have to remember that feeling for the times that you don’t. And remember that you can always get back there.

Calm.

Jenny K Brennan Dec 28 2013

Small things – Big difference

Small things

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I am grateful. Once in a while.

Transcript

Small things.

I don’t have a gratitude list that I keep adding to or reminding myself about but it’s still there nonetheless, at times. Right now, strange as it seems even to me, I’m grateful for that freezing rain. Because the fields around here they are, right now, smooth as pavement; hard and easy to walk.

For three days now we have been taking long, long walks around the fields without the cane for me, without holding on to anything and for me that’s a bit of freedom. Just a tiny touch of freedom because I haven’t done that in years.

Always need an arm. Always need that cane, Always need something to hold on to or be guided by. So, I’m just hoping it stays like thisand we can keep walking.

The dog loves it and so do I.

So that’s what I’m grateful for today: snow and ice.

Small things.

Jenny K Brennan Dec 26 2013

Christmas – Bah!

Christmas – (The sound of)

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Just wishing you all a very merry… 🙂

Transcript

Christmas.

That is the sound of freezing rain on my studio window. Don’t you just love christmas?

I don’t. I couldn’t care less. I mean, it’s cute and all; greedy kids and frantic parents. Grandparents bending over backwards to give people things they can’t afford to pay for.

Christmas songs twenty-four/seven. On all channels. It will be over soon.
I don’t mind the food. That’s fine. If someone would, you know, have the energy and the will and the… would enjoy making it. But nah.

I’ll have probably spaghetti on christmas day. Today is christmas eve which is usually when I celebrate christmas, being scandinavian and all. Or Sweed. But. You know. No.

So. Just enjoy your holiday or enjoy your days off if you have it. Enjoy your family, enjoy your gifts, enjoy your food; I wish you a merry christmas.
And I actually do, believe it or not. Because I know that most of you listening now probably do enjoy christmas one way or another. So, you have fun.

By the way; it’s christmas. Political correctness in this country be damned, it’s christmas, not some anonymous holiday. So I’m gonna grab myself a coffee. I’m gonna finish my breakfast of V8 and I’m gonna enjoy my day whether I like christmas or not.

So there. I’ll talk to you later. Bye bye.

Jenny K Brennan Dec 24 2013

Doubts – Any fucked up reason will do. It’s vicious.

A network of complications

Doubts. So what the hell is this shit for anyways?

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Damn if i really know.

Transcript

Doubts

They creep and they circle and they patrol.
they well up like a sour knot or a hundred insects biting, up through the stomach through the bodytenses everything up.
It circles.
Sometimes it’s so slow. And so sinister that you don’t even know.
And not knowing. How do you know what it’s about. You don’t.

I don’t.
You have to dive deep to find any rational reasons for that feeling.
That uneasiness, that anxiety but for the most part it’s not worth it.
It has to be stopped. You have to stop obsessing. Stop the thoughts in their tracks and just stop.
There are ways to do that. To relax. People have tricks. To get out of it. And I have mine.

But they’re always lurking. Always there.

But what is this for then?

Every time I talk for a few minutes I end up with a feeling of release. A liberating freedom of mind.
I feel relaxed, I feel better. Because what I say; It clears something up.
And that is why I do this.
This mini series of monologues about… what
Well, me I guess. I talk to myself, with myself, about how I feel.
Because I can’t talk to many other people about it.
So. It does help. Believe it or not; it does help.?
And that’s why I’m doing this.
And maybe, maybe someone will hear it and recognize themselves and feel better.

Jenny K Brennan Dec 22 2013