05 – Control – What the fuck…

A network of complications

Control – What the fuck just happened and why should it bother me so?

Play

This is part two of this series of monologues about what it’s like to live in one’s own mind. I just talk, think,, talk more, and it makes little sense. But it helps me figure out what’s what. If I’m lucky.

Transcript

Control.

what is control

or rather, the lack of control, the feeling of powerlessness.
Not having control
Lack of control ccan be anything from not being paid what you think you deserve at work.
not getting the grade that you thought that superb essay was worth at school.
Not being able to deal with your children, or other people around you that just won’t behave the way you’d want them to.
It can be anything.
Control over.

Maybe you’re sick.
Maybe someone else is sick.
A lot of sick.
Maybe something is just going to hell.

You lose power, you lose control.
But thats… that’s the time to let go.

To let it be what it is.
You can not have control over other people.
Not in a deep way.
Not in a fundamental way.
You can influence other people and events.\
But you can’t have control.
Because…

It is what it is.
It will be what it will be.
And you can’t live that way.
Because things will happen, things will move on, people will change, whether you are there or not.

It is what it is.

But remember: When one door opens, another door invariably opens.
So, be in the moment.
Realize that you cannot change the world.
You can only change you.

And that’s ok.

Jenny K Brennan – Dec 18 2013