Focus, Girl, focus! On the slippery borderland between inspiration and desperation – Reflection on the todo list

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JennyK on her nice new Mac, but what good is it when it's not used for something? :)

Focus! Get at it. Rant time for JennyK — Again. 🙂

Feeling scattered, unfocused, restless. So much I want to do. But what? Which of the many things I want to do should I direct my attention to? O, what a first world problem. 🙂 But still, it’s something that unfortunately becomes bigger the more I ponder it. One day becomes a week becomes a month becomes the seed of uncertainty. Writers block? — Maybe.
But honestly, it it was only about sitting down to write because I’m not writing, I could simply sit down and write. But I find it hard to sit down and write when the constant critic in the back of my mind reminds me that I should record those vocals and transcribe those lyrics, world-building for Mother of Crow. And do some social media promotion, update the twitterverse, format my old computer for someone else to take it over, push to find someone to review my book, write an interesting blog on the website, some fantastic reward on patreon, add something on reverbnation, upload a track on soundcloud, do the laundry, organize my backup cds, scan my mail for OCR, call my mother, get the….

Whoah there, Fool. This is getting more than ridiculous.. and I didn’t even mention exercising, , writing a 100K word novel, feed the dog, making an appointment with the dentist, deal with paperwork I would rather burn…. and cut my toenails. —- Oh, and podcasting, don’t forget the people who actually do know I’m around and who do hear me, my music, my band and our music, subscribe to my blogs, and perhaps also enjoy my fiction and other rants.

Oh, and I really should be social and call the few friends I do have, make an effort to “get out there” and be interested in the rest of the world.

Well.
Should, could, would. Aint gonna unless I — focus?

Here is that point… The point I often reach when I drag it out in the open to look at it and realize how ridiculous it really is.

It’s the point where I balance on the slippery borderline between inspiration and desperation.

I can choose to look at that list and get overwhelmed by it. I can be sad for the people I feel I’m disappointing and despair over the inevitable giving up on me. And I can add to that list this: I need to get better and work harder.

😀 (And we all know how well such a pledge works. It doesn’t!)

Or….

I can take a look at that list and break it into pieces, see them as parts of the whole and realize that at this moment, this second, just now; I can’t deal with all of that no matter how much I try. If I look at those things one at a time I will notice that none of them are a big deal. If I see them separately, they are all good things.

Oh, maybe not the dentist thing.

But seriously; It’s all good.

With focus. Hmm. Back at the beginning. I feel a pattern appearing as I type this. Seeing and dealing with one thing at a time does take some type of focus. And that is where I get lost.

So I ask you, listener, reader, friend;

How do you focus? . What are your tips and tricks to manage all the things when they start to overwhelm you? Do you procrastinate to the point of anxiety and panic? Do you schedule your days and stick to it?

I know I’ve been rambling like a neurotic nut in this post, but I am genuinely curious. Leave a comment and share your thoughts. I didn’t manage to make things much clearer in this rant so I need to sit on this for a while as I’m sure the amazing “back of my mind” is working on it. As long as I let it do that without fretting more just now and then maybe. So that’s what I’ll do. I’ll leave it to you – and my poor subconscious for a little while.

Let me know what you think 🙂 Because I could really use your help. Certainly some other perspective and maybe even the classic kick in the ass. 😀

Jen

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